Historical funeral etiquette, particularly in the Victorian era, was defined by strict, superstitious, and highly visible mourning customs. Key practices included covering mirrors, stopping clocks, hanging black crepe on doors, and enduring prolonged mourning periods (often 2.5 years for widows) to honour the dead, maintain social standing, and protect against perceived spiritual dangers.
Key Historical Funeral Traditions,
• The Wake: Bodies were kept at home for several days, requiring constant vigil (the “wake”)
• To ensure the person was not actually in a coma, a practice that led to coffins with bells for signalling if buried alive. Note the term ‘Dead Ringer’
• Home Rituals: Mirrors were covered to prevent the deceased’s soul from being trapped, and clocks were stopped at the time of death.
• Symbolic Doorway: A wreath of laurel or boxwood, adorned with black crepe or ribbons, was hung on the front door to announce the death and signify a household in mourning.
• The Procession: The deceased was often carried out feet-first to prevent the spirit from looking back and calling for another family member to follow.
• Death Photography: Post-mortem photography was common, with photographers often posing the deceased to look lifelike, as families might not have had any previous pictures of the loved one.
Rigid Mourning Etiquette (Victorian Era)
Clothing: Strict, formal black clothing was mandatory, often with specific, heavy fabrics like crape.
Widows: Expected to wear “full mourning” (all black) for a year and a day, followed by “second mourning” (less restrictive black) for another 9–12 months.
Social Life: Those in deep mourning were expected to avoid social events and public places for at least a year.
Paging the hearse is a traditional, respectful funeral custom where a funeral director walks ahead of the funeral vehicle for a short distance to lead the procession. Originating from the Victorian era to clear paths for horse-drawn carriages, it now serves as a dignified, symbolic, and slow-paced farewell to the deceased.
Key details about Paging….
Symbolism: It represents leading the deceased on their final journey with dignity and respect.
When it Occurs: Often used when leaving a home, passing significant locations, or upon arriving at the deceaseds home, a crematorium or cemetery.
Purpose: In addition to tradition, it helps coordinate the procession, allowing time for following cars to stay together and signaling traffic to stop.
This custom remains a poignant way to honour a life, sometimes done in combination with traditional dress (hats/canes) to signify
the gravity of the occasion.
Body Snatchers……
The common old terms for individuals who engaged in the practice of body snatching were resurrectionists or resurrection men.
These terms were widely used in the United Kingdom and the United States during the 18th and 19th centuries, the peak era of the practice, when the demand for cadavers for medical dissection exceeded the legal supply from executed criminals.
Grave robbers: A broader term, though “body snatching” specifically refers to the removal of the corpse itself for medical use, while “grave robbing” can also refer to the theft of valuables from the burial site
Burkers: A term coined after the notorious William Burke and William Hare, who resorted to murder to obtain fresh bodies, as a way to avoid the physical act of grave robbing. The term “burking” became synonymous with this specific method of murder for the purpose of selling the corpse.
It is believed that the reason a modern coffin is shaped the way it is, is to stop the Body Snatchers from entering a grave at one end and removing the deceased. The shoulder shaping prevents anyone removing a deceased from resting in their grave.
Etiquette of today…..
We feel that Funeral Etiquette today is far softer and not so harsh.
Our practise today means that Coffins that have a loved one resting within are always turned clockwise, this is to represent the passage of time and the life that has been lived. This custom happens if we are turning a Coffin within our premise and when out on a funeral, in church for example when we need to leave and take the deceased to the grave side or crematorium.
The small yet most important stopper that sits at the head of the Coffin when it is on the hearse, is called a ‘Goose Neck’
It is not considered respectful to reverse the hearse when a Coffin is on-board, we will always reverse only if we cannot avoid.
On our Bereavement Support section you will find links that can help with talking therapies. We also look at why it may be that you have not felt talking therapies to not be useful or why it is that some choice to support those around them, rather than focus on their own grief. There is no right way to grieve and the support you find has to be right for you and at the right time.
Please know that you are not alone and there is always someone there to listen and support.
It is important to give a gentle reminder that our topics do not replace formal or professional help / diagnosis. This is a space where we can take an overview of a particular topic and share best practices that may help you and others. We would encourage you to seek professional help should you feel so overwhelmed by your grief.
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Take care and know that we keep all of those that live with the loss of a loved one in our thoughts. Important to be gentle on yourselves.